Horses, Husbands, and Health
The Price of Wisdom
Maybe it was the bliss of being on our one year anniversary and delayed
honeymoon trip, driving through the mists of the Emerald Isle, or perhaps a
spell put on my husband by a mischievous leprechaun. Or maybe it was the
leftover effects of too many pints of that liquid black gold called Guinness
that we had been imbibing. Whatever it was, when we saw that shaggy little white
pony on a cold gray April morning excursion into the Irish countryside, it was
my husband who suggested that I get a horse. Within a few short months he would
be cursing leprechauns, equines, and the wisdom of his offer.
When
we made the decision to add a horse to our married lives, neither of us was
aware of the struggles that would ensue. I was in too happy a state to have
believed someone if they had warned me anyway. I had been fortunate in high
school and college to do some showing, have a horse of my own, and take care of
other people’s horses. My horse drought came after college when career and life
in general got in the way for over a decade without a horse in my life to call
my own. However, as many people with “the horse bug” can attest to, the longing
for a horse never left me. So, when I was finally married with a good job and
income and not moving around, it seemed the perfect time to put back what was
missing in my life. Two months after seeing the white pony in that clearing in
the fog, I had my horse. The other “woman” had just entered our life, and she
was a gorgeous palomino.
Her
name was Sage, short for Sagebrush Sail Her and also another word for wise. She
was two years old and a perfectly green Palomino Quarter Horse filly with
beautiful, thick long white mane and tail, standing serenely by while a dog and
child ran circles around her. It was love at first sight, and I knew I wanted
her within the first 10 minutes without even looking at her papers or asking
many questions. I did get her vet checked at least. I also paid $200 more than
the highest price that I told my husband we would spend. That was his first clue
of what lay in store for the future but it was much too late to back out now.
My
instant connection with Sage was the kind of feeling that washes over you when
you first fall in love. My husband’s instant connection was the feeling of
forking over almost two house payments immediately and then a minimum of $300 a
month with nothing to show for it but a 12x12 stall that we rented and hay that
got turned into manure by a horse that wasn’t even trained to ride yet.
At
the time of this writing, it is almost seven years and countless “discussions”
later. A year and a half after the start of my journey with Sage came the
addition of our daughter Erin (born in the Chinese year of the horse)) and the
onset of me being a stay-at-home-mom and our household dependent upon my
husband’s paycheck alone. Things got a bit stressful to say the least. Then
finally, we were able to come to some sort of an agreement and an understanding
that Sage was not leaving and was part of our family, even if she was the black
sheep to my husband instead of the golden girl. And she definitely did not lay
golden eggs.
Without a job and with a new child, I actually needed her more than before, not
less, for some sanity breaks and some sense of identity to hold onto. A little
more than three years after the birth of our first daughter came the birth of
our second daughter. So now I had two daughters, no income of my own, and a
horse that I confirmed over time was sick. Then one day in the midst of
struggling with how to pay for all this horse need, I was blessed with some
inheritance from which I could fund my horse habit/addiction from my dear
departed Uncle Jimmy. Jimmy had once quipped that he wondered why I bought a
quarter horse and not a whole horse. I guess that he left me the funds to buy
the rest of the horse.
I
had felt from the time that she arrived into my care that Sage was not “whole”
in some way. It wasn’t until I went through several veterinarians over several
years time that an equine behaviorist and holistic health expert diagnosed Sage
with ulcers, saying she probably had had them since she was a foal. That can
lead to all kinds of digestive complications, and it now made sense why I was
constantly trying to get her to a point of health from the day she had arrived.
This included chronic diarrhea and a severe colic episode. When I think of
stretching, I think of a purring cat in the warm sun just waking up from a nap,
or the first stretch of the day for myself with a steaming mug of coffee; I also
think of what lengths to which my horse Sage has enabled me to stretch.
I
was a pharmaceutical representative for a major drug company when I found her,
and her health issues helped expand and stretch my thinking and practices. One
morning when I was nine months pregnant, I got the dreaded call from the
boarding facility saying that my horse was down and had been rolling all night.
I rushed to the barn to begin a 5-day saga of walking, two vet calls, careful
watching by management, and ultimately a life-and-death decision point. When the
vet came out for the second time, she said that surgery was the next step as
Sage had made no improvement in her impaction colic. I decided to try something
in a book that I had recently bought for Sage’s chronic diarrhea - little
homeopathic pills along with acupressure – and within 30 minutes she had a bowel
movement, drank water, and was grazing. I was in awe, and I carried that feeling
with me through the natural delivery and care of my first baby. The doctor even
induced my labor with the help of a homeopathic medicine when I was two weeks
overdue; I was comfortable with that having recently learned about and
experienced homeopathy with my horse. From drug rep to holistic mom, I had come
a long way with a little inspiration from my horse.
Taking care of Sage has at times been very stressful; however, the journey has
led me to so many health realizations about equines and humans that I will
forever be grateful for, and it ultimately led to many alternative and holistic
health discoveries that currently benefit my family and I. My family and I are
all much healthier in large part due to what Sage has taught me. I admit I
almost gave up the struggle with Sage and my husband a couple of times, and even
considered selling her if we would all be better off. At one point shortly after
her colic and the birth of my first child, I was particularly disheartened with
the whole situation and feeling beaten. I was in the middle of the arena with
Sage, finishing up some groundwork exercises, and I asked her out loud if she
thought that I should sell her. I was astonished to see her head instantly drop
dejectedly and heard a big sigh let loose from her body. I don’t consider myself
an animal communicator or even a horse whisperer, but I took that as a definite
“NO”. Fortunately, I listened.
So
is it perfect now? No, but Sage is healing herself with our hard-earned wisdom
and a little help from me, some herbs, and supplements. On the family front, my
husband has made mention of a dude ranch vacation at some point, and he now has
two daughters that whinny and canter around the house and barn and like to ride
just about anything. My husband even comes down to the barn to take pictures of
us riding Sage, and I have caught him in the act of petting her. Perhaps he will
never truly understand the connection or the need of his wife and her horse, but
the grief and the money will all seem very worthwhile someday when his teenage
daughters are too busy with their horse to pay much attention to boys; that kind
of wisdom is priceless!